


A Long Sunset

by DancingWhovian



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Episode: 2015 Xmas The Husbands of River Song, F/M, Making Love, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-25 16:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6202930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingWhovian/pseuds/DancingWhovian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If the nights are 24 years on Darillium, how long are the sunsets?  And how did they spend that last sunset?  Moment by moment after we left them on that balcony.  Rated Mature for later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just a Moment in Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Everybody has their own version of what happened that night at Darillium. This is mine. Please be kind, this is my first Who fanfic. Still waiting to see those 24 years on Darillium.

River smiled shyly, his River, shy. It gave him unexpected pleasure that he made her feel that way. This was a side she’d not shown to her “other” husbands, with whom she seemed to revel in complete control. But not with him, which pleased the Doctor probably far more than it should. In fact, he’d never seen this side of her quite like this before. In truth, he’d never allowed it to surface, her vulnerability and authenticity. It had all been such an act before. He turned towards her, pulling them even closer, eye to eye. River was still smiling. She was phenomenally beautiful. And he kissed her. Gently, tentatively, like the first kiss of an old married couple when they meet up after time apart. After all, in many respects they were a very old married couple.

Her lips were warm and wet and her sweet smell and taste filled his senses. He inhaled her in deeply. A great contentment arose in him, the knowledge that now he could become the husband that River so richly deserved, in all the ways she deserved it.

The kiss ended as it had begun, tentatively. He felt the glowing warmth of her lips spread across his face and flush down his body. And something he hadn’t felt in over a thousand years began to happen to his body.

For so long, the TARDIS had been without physical intimacy, well companions having sex with other companions, but that was different. He’d become used to his fairly much asexual life so often full of innuendo and suggestion, but with no follow-through. He was comfortable with it, and it gave him the illusion of emotional safety, although that never ended up being true in the end. He’d always become emotionally attached to his companions, always fall terribly in love in some way with each them.

But with her extended lifespan and astonishingly clever mind, River was unique. In a very real sense, she was the child of the TARDIS. Conceived inside the time vortex by two time traveling humans whose futures were very much wrapped up with the Doctor. Kidnapped and enhanced at birth, and further enhanced by him. He knew selfishly that this would mean he could actually love this woman; even if it meant going where he’d not dared to go before. He also knew that she would be able to accommodate him; it would come naturally to her. There was always a sense of guilt that came with those thoughts, though. Not until now had he known what to do with them precisely.

In all this time away from Gallifrey, he had not allowed himself to answer urges, to feel his own sensuality, except for the rare exception, and River was absolutely exceptional. He had never expressed it intimately before, never crossed that line. Even with Rose, they had cuddled, even kissed, like eager wiggly puppies, still bouncing from the joy of being alive. It still hurt his heart to know his doppelganger was making love to Rose in another universe. Except that she deserves so much to be happy.

Long long ago, he’d been married in his first body and had children; he’d had a grown daughter by machine cloning. He had not allowed himself except in very rare instances the luxury of physical intimacy, of being inside someone else’s body, and all that it meant for a Time Lord. He thought fondly of his second Romana. A Time Lady indeed. But that was long ago and she is long since gone.

Now, it’s about River. Amazing River. Beautiful River. Extraordinary River. His River. His… Song.

She loved him. She loved him openly, unconditionally, without shame, and knowing full well the likelihood of him loving her back was as remote as could be. But there she was wrong. And now he was older, so very much older. He was more determined than he’d ever been before about anything; he was ready to be the husband that River deserved.

She would learn his name, and it wouldn’t be on their wedding night. It would be billions of years later, in the midst of intense love-making, that the Doctor would finally whisper his real name into her ear. He knew beforehand, because of his first experience with River. This meant only one thing: they would be intimate. The first time he met River, he’d learned this, hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it, but he’d felt it in his bones. And then she whispered his own name in his ear, like a memory in reverse. Loath to admit it at the time, her whisper had sent gooseflesh everywhere in his body, which was abruptly interrupted by the needs at hand in the library. But he knew from that moment forward, they would have an indelible and deeply intimate connection.

He found himself staring into River’s beautiful eyes, at her lips, even allowing his eyes to slip down her body. He no longer hid his longing. Time for the Time Lord to let himself free. He would allow it for her.

Their faces were mere inches apart. River’s lips parted in the smallest smile, and she asked quietly, “So…we’re doing this now are we?”

The Doctor kept his eyes focused steadily on her eyes. He would not flinch, nor run, nor distract, not this time. Not here, not now. Not with this woman.

River could barely detect the almost imperceptible nod the Doctor gave her. It sent a thrill outwards from her heart into all her extremities. Her eyebrows rose, and she smiled more, “All of it?” She paused a moment as the Doctor continued to look into her eyes. “We’re doing… all of… this?” she whispered.

The Doctor smiled just slightly down at her, still not breaking the eye contact. His answer was clear without a word. All at once River felt flushed and hot, and as though her heart were trying to make a quick escape up her throat and out her mouth. _Uncharted territory._ She broke the gaze and looked down at is chest, smiling to hide her feelings, her hands landing on the spot her eyes were focused.

The Doctor never broke his stare, and his smile widened, impishly. River couldn’t resist and looked back up at him just as he offered, “That is… if it’s not too… small… or ordinary.”

She smiled and pushed herself even closer against his chest and shook her head, “No… Not small. And certainly not ordinary. Not with you.” She paused and looked away for a moment, a nervous laugh escaping from her lips. “I’m not used to this Doctor,” she finished looking up at him again.

“Too scary for the renowned River Song?” He grinned widely at her. She playfully pushed on his chest, and laughed. No answer to his query however. Perhaps she was scared. Terrified. In fact, it was the most exciting terror she’d ever felt, and for all of River’s experiences, this one was to be the most memorable, the most different. She’d made note of his body language when they’d been talking about the music earlier. He was subconsciously stroking the balcony railing as he spoke to her, in tears. Right before he said “there is a song,” she noticed his long elegant fingers moving gently along the railing, stroking it. She felt her body under those fingers and shuddered slightly, as if it was meant for her.

_He is so different now._

The Doctor put his hands on River’s shoulders bringing her back to the now, his touch was light, warm, and newly sensual. It caught her off guard. She hadn’t expected to be trembling from his touch, at least not so quickly.

Oh, he was always sexy, but sensuality, well… another new thing. Something erotic had turned on inside of him and she could feel it shooting right through her skin and into her nervous system. The intensity overwhelmed her for a moment. Her breath became more uneven, and she fought to control the swirling mass of emotions that were striking like lightening all through her body and brain. She gasped quietly out, “This new Doctor. It’s a bit of an adjustment.”

He stared down at her with an intensity only the Doctor could pull off. As if in response to her nervousness, he gathered her hands in one of his and stepped away from her, extending the other arm towards a beautifully set table on their private balcony.

“Dinner? Are you hungry?”

She looked up into his eyes, “Yes,” she said, not at all certain her hunger was of the culinary variety. She took the opportunity to try to re-collect herself, taking in regular breaths instead of allowing them to catch in her throat. Completely off her game for the moment, she focused on not tripping over her own feet as she allowed him to lead to her to the table. He pulled out a chair for her and tucked her in as she sat. All the while, that smile, that little wistful smile he had been giving her, remained on his face. It was sad and it was loving. She’d never seen this intensity in his eyes before, not once, at least not directed at her. She was his primary focus, and not some adventure or danger. She shifted in her seat.

He’d always loved to show her the amazing universe, all of time and space, but the focus was always on what happened once they were there. Having him watching her every emotion was a bit disconcerting.

River wasn’t quite sure -- she could hardly believe it -- this was her Doctor, and yet he looked happy, contented, even amidst his apparent sadness. He had walked (not bounded) around to the opposite side of the table and was sitting down in front of her, his eyes still fixated on her. New exhilaration started from her feet and welled up through her body. She couldn’t seem to get a handle on this just yet. But she’d better, she warned herself inside. She was River Song, she could handle anything. What was this then? And what was he feeling? She was dying to ask him, but she found that speech came with a great deal more difficulty than it had before. Especially the honest questions. The ones that sought to heal the hurt of days past. Those weren’t coming out just yet.

She didn’t dare shatter the magic that had surrounded this newest meeting. Perhaps that was part of her fear; that she would awaken with a jolt and find herself again without the Doctor, that this had all been some fragile dream; a bubble of joy that was destined to violently explode. She’d noticed the Doctor watching… more… of her, not just her eyes, but he had been looking at her lips, looking at her body, her hips, her gestures; he was intently watching her silent language of desire. She couldn’t help but speak it. She loved him. She loved him more than anything in the universe. And she wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything.

It made her heart stop that his eyes were speaking clearly his desire for her. She’d seen it before, but never follow through. It was clear follow through was at the front of this Doctor’s mind. Gone was the Doctor who bumbled about at the idea of an intimate connection. This was meant to be a real actual intimate date. Not one that involved monsters and robots and aliens – well at least not for the next several hours.

Of all the people in the universe and all the possible times it could happen, this moment had rendered River stunned into silence. Although her mind still raced a million miles a second. Even she new her muteness was hardly an every day event. She was unable to find anything but a shy laugh. The adrenalin was growing ridiculously high, and she at last blurted out in response to his eyes upon her, “I have no idea what to say right now, Doctor.”

He smiled at her. “You don’t have to say anything, River.” His eyes were hooded, warm, sensual, accepting, even inviting. He was looking at her with love. Was it that? Yes, it seemed to be that.

It did nothing to calm her nerves.

 

[To be continued]


	2. This New Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain can only be hidden for so long. How long has River held hers in? More moment-by-moment time in the heads of Twelve and River as they get re-aquainted.

She knew he’d loved her. He loved everyone he touched in some fashion, but not like he was tonight. Never so much. Never follow through. Never eyes on. Never so close. Until now.

She nodded, smiling, and realized she had reached her hand out for his on the table and he had responded by putting his hand comfortably over hers and squeezing and then holding on.

As if someone had turned on a spigot to high, it was all River could do was hold back an unexpected onslaught of tears that quickly built pressure behind her eyes along with a growing lump in her throat.

This might confuse him, put him off, but she couldn’t staunch the flow. Even she’d had no idea how deeply this would affect her.

She pulled her hand from the Doctor’s and said much too quickly with a too bright smile, “I’ll be right back, have to go powder my nose,” whereupon she smiled nervously, got up quickly, and forgot her bag with the powder in question on the table. Instead, she turned in a near run for the restroom. She got inside the door and locked it, her chin trembling, just as tears began to spill out of her eyes. She leaned her back against the door, and slid down until she was sitting on the floor, her hands covering her mouth to quiet her sobs. She didn’t even know why, it was just all so much, so sudden, so different. And so utterly unexpected. She thought she’d been done with him, or rather, he with her. Emotionally at the least.

What had changed him? She realized she was not only in love with him, but she was also furious at him. Deeply hurt, her heart forever wounded by their last meeting. She really did hate him. And she loved him. And she still hated him. And she was madly in love with him. It was all so useless, really. She had to let it out somewhere, it was unfortunate it was during dinner.

She had no idea the Doctor had followed her, first his hand and then his ear up against the door directly after she locked it. In his arm, he carried the bag she’d forgotten. He could feel her right through the doorway, inside, alone… and crying, too ashamed to show any weakness in front of him, hiding her vulnerable parts away from being hurt yet again. Guilt poured though him, as he considered how vulnerable he could be with her without fear of her judgment. The tables had been tilted in favor of him for a very long time. It was time now to change all that. To do it right; as much for River as for himself. To stay put, stay by the side of his wife, the woman he loved. The woman who loved him, she said she did, in front of everybody.

He’d always thought it was the life he could never live.

Except now he could. For at least twenty-four years with his River Song here on Darillium. It was his last chance to get it right. This time he would.

Switching her bag from one arm to another, he became aware that his presence would most likely embarrass her right now. He opened his mouth to speak to her, and then closed it again. He had shown up on her doorstep, uninvited, or at the least improperly invited. There was caution to be taken. She was frightened, or overwhelmed, or terribly sad, or angry, or something he possibly couldn’t truly understand. Her strong emotions came in waves through the wall at him, there was everything in them, all at once. He closed his eyes and allowed them to flow through him. Without touching her, he couldn’t get directly in touch, but he could sense strongly. He let her emotions wash into him. When he opened his eyes they were wet.

Inside the luxurious restaurant bathroom, River tried to pull it together. She picked herself up and grabbed some tissue to blow her nose. Only as she was examining her tear streaked cheeks and smudged eye makeup that she realized she’d left her bag on the table. “Damn!” she whispered, sniffing back a full nose, “Damn, damn.”

Pulling more tissue off the role, she dabbed under her eyes doing her best to remove the smudges. The knock at the door made her jump and hold stone still. Three knocks.

“River? You forgot your bag.” It was the Doctor. Had he heard her? She prayed he hadn’t, but he was the Doctor. He could have. She closed her eyes for a second, struggling what to say next. She decided to be as River-like as she could, put up a good front. Standing behind the door, she cracked it open and reached only an arm out, palm up. “Ah thank you, please give it to me?” she rang out, again much too cheerfully, but in an obviously thick voice. She felt the bag placed into her hand and she retracted her arm into the bathroom and shut the door and locked it.

Sadness filled the Doctor. Had he really been so awful to her? He leaned against the wall next to the door, his head making contact with the cool wall. He had. He knew he had. His face drawn into lines of regret, he returned to the table to allow River her space. He could have held her. He would have held her. If she’d allowed him to. But maybe that would come later. At the moment, he’d be no help at all standing around like an extra appendage.

A few moments later, she returned to the table. She’d done her utmost to cover up the emotions that had hit her unexpectedly. The Doctor could see precisely through her. But he pretended not to. She sat down and smiled widely at him.

“Much better!” she lied. After all, it was rule one: lie.

He looked again into her eyes, reaching for that connection he knew she needed, that she wanted and that she most certainly deserved. Her eyes were shuttered now, her persona protected by bluster, he couldn’t find connection. He found himself reaching past his own lies, and into her heart. She made him want to cry. He wanted to knock down her protective wall, but knew that turnabout was fair play, and that she’d respected his many walls of protection in the past.

River could feel the intensity of his eyes upon her. She looked up at him, smiled and then opened her menu. The intensity was simply too much to take without breaking down again. This was dinner in a public place. She would have time for sorting out her complicated feelings later. Privately. She held the menu up so her face wasn’t quite visible to him, just her eyes.

The Doctor, still glancing at her every so often to make sure she was okay, grabbed his menu as well and a proper discussion of menu items commenced. The discussion quickly led to laughter and the tension slowly eased between them. River’s menu ended up on her lap as she laughed at the Doctor’s interpretation of some of their menu items. Soon their order had arrived, along with a bottle of the finest bubbly available. That would loosen them up even more and over the course of dinner they’d both relax with their usual out-witting-the-other remarks.

As it turned out, dinner was lovely. They talked about their past adventures, about Amy and Rory, and what to do over the next 24 years, for a single night on Darillium. “So many possibilities!” River had said. The Doctor loved her ideas for how to spend their days and he’d gone on a 10-minute preamble of all sorts of varied probabilities and possibilities for each of them.

And they didn’t have to stay exactly on Darillium, as long as they returned home there. As long as Darillium was home base.

They could go see the Cignas Olympus, an enormous star nursery, or the Andegio ruins, somewhere River had never been, off limits to most visitors, but not to the Doctor. They could go see the Library of Infinite Possibilities, or the Museum of Talking Figurines. They could go see the Stellar Falls on Digima Prime, which took up the entirety of the expanse of the main land mass on the planet. No bigger waterfalls anywhere else. There were endless choices and it was great fun to set about planning together.

As they settled into a nice dessert wine after their meal, the Doctor shared his story about the war doctor, and Gallifrey Falls No More. By the end of the story, River was leaning into the Doctor across the table, captivated by his telling. He looked at her body language and stopped talking to smile at her again, for no particular reason but because she made him smile.

With the enormous sun still dangling above the horizon, the Doctor stood and offered his arm to River. She grabbed her bag and took his arm. He led her over again to the edge of the balcony where they watched the towers in the glowing evening light and listened to the music. It was so beautiful it seemed to sing right through her heart. The evening had been perfect. Again emotions welled up within her. River tried to hold back her tears, but it was quite a difficult battle. She was so happy; terrified and happy; overwhelmed and happy. And afraid of being abandoned, let down, afraid her happiness was about to vanish any moment.

Because this was the Doctor.

In an effort to change the subject in her own mind, she asked quietly, “Doctor, how long will this sunset last?” She sniffed back tears and shivered as she felt the cool breeze chill her shoulders.

She could feel his warmth leaning against the right side of her back. Noticing she was chilled, he moved closer in behind her and wrapped his arms over hers and around her waist and he whispered, “Oh, it’s very quick… a year and a half about... give or take.” He paused and leaned down to say next to her ear, “And that’s really when the twenty-four years gets properly started. It doesn’t do to show up late. Better early,” he said in his best brogue.

She laughed at his words, and he pushed himself even closer into her back, the length of his body now touching hers. They stood in silence for a time. Then he leaned in to whisper in her ear again, “you know, you really shouldn’t hide what you’re feeling from me.”

She stiffened. She knew instantly he’d heard her in the restroom.

He’d known all along, and now with the music, the closeness of her Doctor behind her and the radiant sunset before her, River could no longer quell her emotions. Tears escaped out her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. The Doctor held her a little more tightly, he leaned into her ear again and asked softly, “River, tell me what’s wrong?”

“Oh, shut up, you idiot! These are tears of joy.”

His breath was warm against the back of her right ear, “Are you certain that’s all. Because… last time…”

Her breath hitched. He knew that, too. He knew it, the bastard. He always knew it.

She shook her head ‘no’ refusing to turn and look at him, as a new wave of tears rolled down her cheeks. She was so good at covering up, making sweet pretend that everyone was subordinate, and she was in control. Something about this Doctor’s regeneration pulled the truth out of her, took the breath from her lungs. She’d wanted this so badly, and yet, he was the same man who could drive her into a fury faster than anyone else.

She finally managed shaky words in response, “I don’t want to think about that right now.” She looked down, tears dropping onto the Doctor’s hands around her middle. He squeezed her a little tighter.

“I’m sorry, River, I’m so sorry.”

She nodded in response.

A quite unwelcome lump formed in the back of his throat, and he realized he was crying as well. River leaned back against his chest finally allowing her tears to fall unhindered. She could feel the Doctor sniffing as well, and realized she wasn’t alone in either pain or joy.

They said nothing, but stood for what felt hours before the brilliant sunset in silence, only the music playing between them. River couldn’t think of any time they’d ever held this still for this long together.

No running. This was so very new.

[To be continued.]


	3. Carried By Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what's up for after dinner? It's so complicated, and so simple. Continuing the moments during the long sunset.

Eventually with their tears spent and the music floating in their ears, the Doctor moved around to her side, she smiled up at him. Instead of speaking, he took her face in his hands and he leaned in and kissed her again. It was the perfect kiss, tender, sensual, inviting, lingering. River’s arms wrapped around him and pulled into him tightly, allowing the kiss to deepen.

This Doctor, this Doctor was an adult. No flailing arms flopping about with nowhere to land. He snaked his arms around her back and returned the embrace. After so many years of running away, he was facing her head on. It was something she had never dared to dream about, let alone expect, and she was still trying to work through it. It didn’t take long before the rolling ball of emotions and energy found their way into her body, and she felt herself warming up considerably. _Damned human biology,_ she thought. At that choice moment, the Doctor pulled away.

River looked up into his eyes, puzzling _did he know what just happened to my body?_ He replied to her silent query, “Would you like to go indoors?” He gestured in the general direction of the TARDIS, “have an adventure… or something?”

She grinned widely, never one to let an opportunity slip, “…Or something,” she repeated putting on a brave front, and taking his hand.

They moved together towards the TARDIS, she realizing that now this would be her home…with him. With the Doctor; and not just the Doctor, her husband, the Doctor. Were they to live in the TARDIS? They certainly had before.  Neither of them could possibly sit still long enough not to have some way to travel.

The TARDIS doors closed behind them and he turned to her, arms out widely, “what first?”

She moved to the control center smiling and watching the Doctor. “Closer to the music?”

He raised an eyebrow and adjusted his controls. She stood watching him, allowing him to impress her. They disappeared and re-materialized in just a few seconds. Outside of the blue box, lyrical notes pushed to find their way in through the TARDIS walls. Both looked up at the overwhelming power of the sound the TARDIS held at bay.  Even the TARDIS seemed to tremble.

“Where exactly are we?” River asked, lowering her eyes to look at her Doctor, and then allowing them to fall down his body. _This one, I like this one. Full of character and life and... well... all grown up._

 “On the precise spot in between the towers on which all of the resonant harmonies converge. The music can be deafening if the wind is strong enough.” He looked down smiled at her and lingering much longer on the details of her face than usual. She took notice and edged a bit closer to him.

It was so much more focus than she was used to receiving. She shook her head, still trying to get her mind around it. She moved even closer in and took his arm, pressing against her body. He definitely noticed. Then she pulled him by the hand towards the door.

He was still smiling and closely watching her as he moved outdoors behind her. “You know, we’ll need sound dampers,” but she couldn’t hear him.

The music was so loud here.

“So… Is there where you want to have your first adventure?” he yelled at her.

“What did you say, Doctor?” River grabbed a-hold of his arms and leaned into him.

“Is this where you want to have your first big adventure?” He yelled, her face now close enough to hear him.

She smiled up at him and nodded, “Yes!” she yelled back, “where the music carries me.” She whispered under her breath, “let the music carry me, please.” A quiet prayer. The Doctor rose his brows, as if he’d heard, despite her whispering. Perhaps he could read lips… or… thoughts.

He looked at her questioningly, the simplest things sometimes passing above his head. He watched for a moment as she closed her eyes and seemed to lean into the wind, perhaps trying to lift off the ground drawn upwards from the pull of gravity on power of each note. The Doctor always knew that he and River were capable of telepathy when a bond was formerly declared and time was spent together, but now he was sure of it. He wasn’t picking up clear-cut intellectual thoughts, but he was picking up powerful impressions, many confusing, some even contradicting others.  He allowed himself to reach inside her mind for a mere glance in that moment where she leaned into the wind and closed her eyes. She was not thinking. She was only feeling. And he was certain there was as much sorrow as joy within her. He pulled his mind quickly back as she opened her eyes again. She shot him a look that let him know she was aware of his intrusion into her mind. All of this transpired in mere seconds.

He returned her look, raising his brows, as if they’d always done that. The fact he could reach into her mind excited River. But then… how could she suppress all of the things she ordinarily suppressed in the presence of the Doctor? Maybe, maybe she wasn't meant to any longer.  Perhaps expressiveness was now _the_ thing.

Having had enough of the immense volume, River pointed towards the TARDIS doors as the wind continued to rise and the music grew louder yet. The whole place vibrated from the depth and breadth of the harmonies the wind against the crystals produced. The bass notes shook the ground with particular force. It was exhilarating. The Doctor nodded and took her hand again, and they returned indoors. River was laughing as she walked up to the console. “It’s like the best concert orchestra seats, except here, it’s like sitting inside the instruments.”

The Doctor felt sure both his hearts flip-flopped when she turned with her beautiful hazel eyes focused on him. Her whole face – indeed, her whole body -- was smiling. She was incredibly brave in the face of the sadness she carried. He couldn’t help but smile back at her, “we are inside the instrument.”

“Doctor, shall we pipe the music inside the TARDIS?”

He walked to the console and flipped two switches and in came the music, deafeningly loud. River gestured for him to lower the volume, and he obliged until it was still loud enough to carry, but quiet enough to speak.

“Why did you want to come here, River?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“If this is going to be my first... erm… my last night on Darillium, then I don’t want to forget a single moment. Don’t you think that deserves accompaniment?”

“I suppose it would.”

 _The time is now, Time Lord,_ he heard his own voice in his head speaking clearly. All his past lives appeared to speak at once. The Time is now.

He approached her and took her shoulders in his hands, his fingers touching her skin gently, lightly, and he allowed his hands to run down the length of her arms until he found her hands and then squeezed them tightly in his. He said nothing, but smiled just barely and moved closer into her. The smile slowly faded on River’s face, as she searched his expression. His light touch sent chills up and down her spine. It was different than any touch she’d felt before from him, or from anyone else, for that matter. It made her giddy as if she was floating off of the ground. She closed her eyes allowing herself to enjoy the sensations. Her breathing grew just slightly heavy. She was almost certain she felt an energy emanating from his fingertips and spreading warmth through her entire body. And of course, settling into her core.

The music was playing a beautiful and plaintive tune. The Doctor watched River’s face as she closed her eyes. She was a vision, his River. He continued to run his hands up and down her arms slowly, and then he wrapped his arms around her middle and began to pull her closer.

River’s eyes opened abruptly. Suddenly a question popped into her head and her eyes opened and focused on the Doctor’s eyes. She could feel the Doctor’s mind close enough to hers that he felt the shift. He stopped and asked, “What?”

She smiled, again shyly (who was this River?), and looking down at first, began her question, “Is every time this… erm… you… touch me… like that… Is every time going to feel like that?  I've never felt you do that before.”

He moved in closely, a few inches from her face, “like what?” he breathed practically against her lips.

Gooseflesh rose all over her body, or rather gooseflesh on top of gooseflesh, for his words so close to her lips added another layer of electricity and wildly wonderful sensation. She tried to recover, not moving a hair away from him, but she did have to control her breath and voice, because both were starting to rise a little too high in pitch. And it was getting difficult to use brain cells. She breathed in his words, he was so close to her, his breath made her tremble.

After a few breathy tries, the words finally came out quietly, almost whispered against his lips, “Like some… thing running into me, through me.”

The Doctor smiled, eyes still hooded. He leaned in just so his lips were now touching hers, and said against the soft flesh, “That’s love with a Time Lord… uncut.”

She held the closeness, her lips now vibrating against his. “Tell me. Tell me how you’re different.”

He smiled against her lips slightly. “Like regeneration, but more... sensual energy." He took two fingers and ran the backs of them gently down her cheek, sending her higher, "you’ll find out for yourself.” The last was a challenge that nearly made her legs go out from under her. He felt her sway at his words and he tightened his arms around her.

“Show me,” their lips still touching.

He replied, moving his lips now to her cheek, gently running them up to her ear, she could feel him plant kisses all around her ear in between his words.

“Do you know you’re doing it too, River? You’re a child of time, biologically altered because you were conceived in the TARDIS,” he pulled away just barely to look at her, “you’ve got Time Lord tendencies… You already knew that.”

Her eyes were twinkling now, she was unspeakably beautiful, it almost hurt, he felt black and blue at times just from looking at her. She made the Doctor’s breath catch, something that didn’t happen often after so many years of living. He couldn’t be away from her side, he would want to be near her, within her. He was allowing himself the privilege of falling completely for River now, letting all the worry go, for he knew she would be with him the whole night long. All 24 years of it. She beamed up at him, her arms now slipping around his waist, and moving up his back gently, “Time Lord tendencies?” her eyebrows lifting.

“Well… Yes… You’re doing it right now, through my coat, my shirt. We have all the same biological functions as humans do. But… more… we can heighten the experience, bring it an inner narrative, along with all the… physical pleasures that humans feel.” He was breathing harder. There would be no going back now. “It’s an exchange,” he breathed into her mouth again.

“I can’t wait to find out,” she answered into his lips. She couldn’t believe how unbearably sexy he was when he was talking about… well… sex. Time Lord sex. She kissed him, a real kiss, nothing tentative, she pulled and gently bit on his lower lip, allowing their excitement to commingle, to dance within the other to the beautiful music that sang to them. Then she pulled back to look at her Doctor.

“Well…” she said, the pitch of her voice deep and breathy.

The Doctor smiled more widely down at her again, “well…” he replied, his breath matching hers.

She smiled, and then laughed nervously, there was something about it all that just still did not fully compute.

Noticing that her mind had wandered off again, the Doctor picked up the conversation, “River… Where are you?” He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her. She leaned into his lips, and they kissed again, the temperature between them rising steadily.

When the Doctor pulled away so they could catch their breath, River could say nothing, “Ah, I’ve knocked you speechless, have I? I’m not at all certain I’ve ever done that before,” after which he leaned in and captured her lips again, hungry for as much of her as he could immerse himself in. Waves of excitement made their way into her lips, then her face, then down her neck and spread out in her chest, falling even lower, and lower, until they landed between her legs. He was warm, vital, his tongue probed inward and she allowed him to push inside her mouth. It was the most passionate kiss she’d ever experienced with anybody. Each kiss was better than the one before it, they became entwined in eachother’s arms, their legs and arms tangling around the other.

Pulling away for a moment, she whispered, almost to herself, “This is really real. This is really happening… We’re not stopping at the end of the kiss…”

Without moving his eyes from hers, he replied simply, “Yes.  And no.”

She felt her legs go rubbery under her. She leaned more heavily on the Doctor for balance. Her heart was thudding in heavy loud beats, blood rushing by her ear drums, speeding faster with each passing moment. Even more than that, she knew the Doctor could feel it anywhere his hands were. He could feel her pulse everywhere his body touched hers, even though their clothes. Their last kiss had reached deep into her core that burned with a fire she could not stop. She could no longer ignore the growing warm wetness spreading between her legs. She was certain he could sense it as well.

She was so used to being in control. It was truly exciting, as well as truly terrifying that he was in control. Completely in control.

She spoke out truthfully, her face only a few inches from his, “I didn’t think I’d be this nervous,” she let out with a small laugh. “I wasn’t even sure you were serious…” She paused for a moment, looking at him for an answer, almost expecting him to break out in a big gotchya grin, but he didn’t.

“I am serious, River.”

“What about your number one rule?” she asked still only inches from his face.

“The Doctor lies,” they said simultaneously into the other's lips. In an instant her Doctor… or rather, her Husband, was answering her, pulling his face far enough away that he could look straight into her eyes.

“River, I’m not lying to you. Not about this. Not now.”

She let out a quick gasp, shaking her head in disbelief still.

“But why now?”

“River, don’t, let’s just… live this,” he implored, a single tear rolling down his cheek, and rolling over his upper lip and settling into the corner of his mouth. That single tear melted her heart. She reached up to touch the wetness and wipe it from his face.

“Then, we can be sad… and happy… together,” she said tenderly, herself feeling the mix of tears and sexuality, the most vulnerable kind, becoming entangled.

“That’s the idea.” Then he did something she would never have guessed at. He pushed his hips into hers, pushing himself against her tightly. She could feel him. In case she ever doubted. She could feel him swollen against her. Her mouth opened in surprise. He continued, “River… You said I could never love you. That I didn’t love you. That I couldn’t love you.”

She said nothing, simply staring up into his eyes.

“How could you think that I’m not capable of loving… you? Amazing, magnificent you?” He struggled with his composure for a moment, and searched her face for answers.  
  
River shook her head very slightly, “but are you, Doctor? Are you sure?”

“Of course I am, River! This is me here, with you” His voice rose a few levels in tone, then he seemed to calm himself down.

“I do, in fact, River.”

She nodded again, just slightly and smiled wistfully up at him knowing that he she might never hear him say ‘I love you’ directly; her body was burning for him regardless. “Okay,’ she managed. If only she could control her breath a little better, but it always gave her up.

He nodded, “I just wanted to clear that up.”

“Okay,” she said again.

She could no longer resist and she moved her hands into the thick curls on his head. She teased with a grin, “You all have really good hair, you know that? No bald Doctors so far.”

He looked mockingly offended, "I take exception to that, River, I do recall at least one nearly bald regeneration... I think.  But I admit, I have gotten quite used to good hair."

They both laughed and then in an instant, he was kissing her again, this time fiercely, and she was kissing him back. He pushed her against the console with his hips and pulled her tight against him. River could feel her husband become the man she’d always hoped for, the one she never dared to imagine could become real. She could feel him pushing hard against her, urging her on. This was a part of the Doctor she never thought she’d feel, and oh, how she loved it.

 

[To be continued]


	4. Embellishments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, after a beautiful concert, practically box-seating, a fabulous (expensive) dinner, long embraces looking at the sunset, a few good bottles of bubbly, a trip inside the concert instrument, what would one do with a date when returning home later?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the Mature rating comes into play. There will be more later as well. I mean, after 2000 years(ish)... c'mon.

It was more erotic than she could have possibly guessed to be locked in an intimate embrace, kissing her Doctor, feeling his tongue gently trace her lips and push inside her mouth, his lips grabbing and then re-grabbing her lips. Her breath was out of control and her thighs shook. Burning heat, the emptiness of a deep hunger, a desire for satiation filled her entire sensory system. He’d feel it too, for certain, and it would ignite and even greater burning in them both.

She felt him again, answering her, spreading through her body centering on her core and moving deep within her. She was losing focus quickly, but worked at sending herself into him. It must have been working, because she could feel his excitement growing as well, his powerful need increasing her urgency.

The heat was rising, and she was feeling groundless, as if gravity had disappeared.

So much of this talking had been foreplay, the Doctor’s brand of foreplay. Right there in the control room, she was becoming undone. This version could turn that switch in an instant, leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed. None of this would be happening with someone else, none of it ever had. Only the Doctor could awaken it, and while a part of her hated him for it, the other part of her loved him, wildly, with abandon, and with a passion she never imagined possible. This was saying a great deal, as River’s reputation for her passions preceded her.

But there was a part of her still holding back inside, because of fear, the Doctor was surrounding her, enveloping her, finding his ways into all the corners of her mind. The heat rose, almost to unbearable levels and the burning really did begin to burn. It was too much.

She pushed him away from her, her breath coming in deep gasps, a few of her elegant curls stuck to her face from the heat. Her skin glistened. She couldn’t even see him any more. She held on to the panel behind her as her surroundings slowly faded back into her vision, and the room slowed, because it had seemed to be spinning in a blur.

She could hear him, though. He’d pulled all his energy back, but he was nearby. She could feel that. She felt a cool hand cover hers.

“I’m so sorry, River. I didn’t mean to… Are you okay? Too much?” His voice was soft and soothing, he apparently understood, perhaps better than she did, what had happened.

“It was just a little too much, Doctor.” She managed, her breath just beginning to slow. She tried to smile reassuringly at him, but once she could focus on his face, he didn’t look very reassured. Rather more cowed. His breath had slowed more than hers, but it was clear he’d lost a bit of control.

“I’ll keep it more carefully, River. I didn’t mean for it to burn you. I promise I’ll not do that again. If you’d like to try again, that is. Maybe?”

The room now back in focus, she felt a good deal cooler. Her smile widened, and she at once wore a most River-esque expression. As if she’d gone on a roller coaster ride that had terrified her down to her soul, but also turned her on madly.

“I think I would,” she grinned. “Call me an adrenaline junkie,” her eyebrows went up suggestively, “if you like.” She let out an unmistakable River giggle, “that was actually kind of fun!”

The Doctor looked greatly relieved, and then pleased. “You _are_ indestructible as ever.”

She smiled at him widely and reached out for his jacket lapels to pull him back against her. They were nose to nose again, looking into each others eyes. She said in a low and sexy voice, “I like heat very much Doctor, I’d like some back, please, just in smaller portions.” This made him smile broadly and lean in once more to kiss her.

When their lips touched, the Doctor yelped quietly. River had forgotten momentarily that the Doctor could read her now, in fact, whether or not he was trying to. Inside her mind was of mass of confused images and feelings, fear, excitement, that feeling of jumping off a cliff and hoping the rope will hold, that deep steeped adrenaline rush.

It caught him off guard. He had pulled away from her and was looking down at her, his eyes deep and dark and wanting. It became clear right away that he felt her inner voices.

It was amazing to be heard and horribly exposed all at once. In his eyes, she could see that he, too, was exposed and vulnerable. In his mind, she could feel the intensity of his fear as well. He was making sure she understood they were on equal ground. He was also nervous, even terrified.

River felt an immediate jump in confidence upon learning silently that his insecurities were as loud and insistent and uncomfortable as hers were.

This wasn’t all about her, or her last night with him (twenty-four years or not), it was also very much about him. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. He wanted to spend this time with her, actually being her husband. Twenty-four glorious years, pulled even longer by the threads of a little blue box that could take them out of time entirely and bring them back only seconds later. Could be twice as long, or longer.

But tonight would be an adventure inside the TARDIS, of a kind they’d never had before.

She breathed out, “Bedroom, darling?”

He responded with equal breathiness, “Oh, yes, let’s.”

He pulled her by her hand down the stairs into the TARDIS interior, and found – gratefully – the door to the master suite located immediately to his right. “Thank you, dear machine” the Doctor whispered gratefully. River overheard and offered up her own silent prayer of thanks.

They could easily have ended up on the floor.

The door closed behind them. Before them was a room not used in centuries, a master suite. It was patterned to match the doctor’s tastes in blacks, gray and purply-reds, with smatterings of white. The bedspread was made of deep thick black velvet with wine colored embroidered embellishments. The spread covered silky cotton sheets of purple. It was a king sized canopy bed, and sheer white curtains draped in graceful loops about the corners, ready to be drawn. An apparent sky window through which they could see the towers brought in the natural sunset light, and the music was here, too. It was haunting and gorgeous adding to the beauty of the scene unfolding before them.

The emotional response came from them both simultaneously.

River gasped, and the Doctor muttered, “oh my…”

“Is this for us?” River whispered, still holding the Doctor’s hand.

“I think so,” the Doctor responded. Their arousal was, for the moment, replaced by awe. Obvious care had been taken to exactly match their tastes in combination. Gold lacings appeared on the edges of the pillowslips and in embroideries that grew into lovely patterns embellishing the large room right before their eyes. A sweet clear fresh breeze seemed to flow in from somewhere that could not be seen. On a table near the bed was a bottle of French wine and a pitcher of ice water. A plate of fresh fruits lay on a dresser nearby.

The TARDIS had obviously put considerable effort into this. Preparing for the eventual relationship she new they were destined to have.

The Doctor looked at River, who was still staring at the elegant room that grew before them. She felt the Doctor’s eyes on her and she turned to look at him, her eyes full of wonder.

“She knew,” the Doctor said, looking back around at the room, just as velveteen purple lined the edges of the ceilings, embellishing the delicate gold embroidery with depth and shadow. He looked back down at River by his side, so beautiful, powerful, huge and tiny, intricate and delicate all at once.

The depth of his love for River kept growing. Every time he thought he’d felt all he possibly could, he’d turn to look at her and feel even more. He pulled River further into the room with him, until they stood near the close edge of the bed. She turned to face him, only her eyes smiling at him.

“I think we should get into something more comfortable, don’t you?”

A lopsided smile and a raised eyebrow was his reply. He took her shoulders and turned her around so he could help her out of her dress.

“Wait, Doctor, just a moment, please? Would rather be perfect.”

“Nothing is perfect, River. Well, almost nothing.” He smiled at her.

She smiled back, “I’ll be right back.” She quickly disappeared into the large bathroom off the side.

The Doctor called after her, “No more tears, eh?”

“No promises.”

River found sitting on the counter top a nearly sheer negligee and a light satin robe folded neatly. “Oh, thank you, old girl, you are the cat’s meow,” she intoned to the TARDIS who seemed to purr back. In no time River had her dress in a pile on the floor next to her shoes and was putting on the sheer nightwear. The TARDIS always responded well to River. As if she knew all along that River would one day become the most important woman in her Doctor’s life, at least for a time. River was going to grab every moment of that time. She pulled her hair out down around her shoulders, and fussed with it for a few seconds. Then she took a deep breath, nodded at herself and turned to go back to the bedroom.

The Doctor had settled on the bed, still fully clothed, save his shoes and socks. He glanced up and then did a double take when River came walking out. He could see nearly every curve of her body, but her garments also covered her just enough to make him want desperately to remove them. Quickly as, if possible.

“You’ve changed,” he said, eye brow rising up. “And you’ve moved you hair about again. Isn’t that rather hard work, all that moving your hair about?”

She laughed outright at his remark.

“What do you think?” she said seeming almost to float towards the bed. She sat down facing him, her wonderful aroma following her flowing robes.

He took her whole body in, inhaling her sweetness, “I have to admit to not exactly… ‘thinking’ just right at this moment.”

She laughed at him and then moved toward him to begin to remove his clothing. He looked slightly uncomfortable as she began to pull the coat off, and then head for his shirt buttons.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

The Doctor frowned, “River… I’m a lot…. older. I’m…”

“Self conscious?”

“Okay, maybe a little bit. This is a very good body, however, it’s just… a little older than my others.”

“And just as attractive on you as ever. It turns out you’re also my Doctor. Older is gorgeous. So hush up.”

The Doctor relaxed a bit as she finished unbuttoning and pulled his shirt off. She was after all, still a younger woman, only 200 years old. Still…

She leaned forward and kissed his chest gently. One of her hands moved over his chest and raked gently across his nipples. He gasped. She leaned in to kiss him again, allowing body to touch his chest, his belly, and his shoulders.

Her other hand moved to his crotch, gently rubbing him there. He pushed into her hand just a bit, “Oh, River… This, I’m not used to this.” he said breathily. Her hands were magical. Perhaps this sex thing wasn’t going to be as boring as he had thought. Perhaps it’s only boring when other people do it. _Doesn’t seem to be very boring when I’m doing it._ She stroked him back and forth and kissed his nipples. She loved taking the upper hand. But she knew at some point the tables were going to turn. And that was exciting.

“C’mon then, let’s set that free, shall we?”

The Doctor didn’t answer, his pupils were enormous, and his breath raspy. She knew his answer already. She unzipped his trousers and pulled them down and off while he lifted so she could disrobe him. His erection was standing upright now, making a tent of his pants, and she couldn’t wait to see her Doctor fully naked. Gently, she pulled down his pants, watching his eyes as she did. His erection popped straight up, offering a salute to her face.

She looked him up and down, licking her lips, and then biting on her bottom lip.

“I think this body is perfect. And I think… now it’s mine.”

She moved over him and on top of him, pressing their cores together and rocking.

“Your turn,” the Doctor said raspily as he began to peel off the robe from her shoulders. The negligee she had on underneath featured all her voluptuous curves, and as he looked down her body, he realized it was also crotchless. His mouth dropped open. The tawny soft curls below were something he simply couldn’t resist. He reached down to feel the softness between her legs and she gasped when he touched her.

The intensity between them made verbal communication unnecessary. She could feel his need, and he hers. She rolled over, pulling him on top of her, and they pulled the sheet over them.

Under the covers, the Doctor’s hand moved further down, in between her wet folds of flesh to find the bundle of nerves he knew would send her over the edge. She was soaked, and that sent him into such a state he felt he might explode. _Yes yes, old fellow, it’s been a couple thousand years, hang on, you can do this just fine._

River heard this in her mind, and using whatever magic the Doctor and the Vortex had imbued upon her to speak to him through his mind only.

_Now, please… no more waiting. But... slowly, go slowly, Doctor. It’s been… well… a few years…_

The Doctor stopped moving and spoke into her mind.

_But all those other husbands? The “many nights of passion.” What about all that? Surely you—_

_Doctor, just because I married them doesn’t mean they get access to everything. Hands are very sexy, too, you know. Private inner bits…. reserved._

_River…_ was all his mind could manage. He started moving again, pressing himself against her core. He kissed down her chest and sucked each one of her nipples carefully, treasuring the feel of them in his mouth, in his fingers. One hand remained between her legs, ever so lightly rubbing that bundle of nerves. She was gasping and so hungry, she needed him right now.

He smiled, sensing the depth of her need. His need matched it. Of course they were a match. That had always been the case. Although until now, he’d not set still enough to acknowledge it. Except at Trensalore… he missed her there. He ached for her there. Perhaps that’s why he was doing this now, that an four and half billion years and a friendship lost.

The music had begun a chorus of notes so beautiful, they defied description. _Now, Doctor, no more waiting._

He placed the very tip of his erection just barely within her opening, and she gasped softly at the sensation. He watched her eyes every moment. She was looking up at him, her eyes filled with love, her face with ecstasy. Very slowly, relishing every millimeter on the way in, he pushed into her. He paid special attention to going slowly as she had asked, and opened up his senses to her pleasure and comfort levels. She was small, tight and responsive. Once he’d pushed himself all the way inside, his erection quivered, and her inner muscles answered him back in powerful spasms.

Her warmth surrounded him, and waves of passionate love pushed forth from his heart and into River. She could feel the physical pleasures of their lovemaking, but she could also feel his emotional state. She felt so much love filling her heart, every corner of her body and mind. He could feel her love flowing into him in barely-controlled waves. They lay for a few moments, getting used to the feeling of the other, adjusting to the torrent of emotions that flowed back and forth through them both.

Her inner muscles hugged him, more spasms washing over them both from their deep physical and mental connection, even as they held still together. _Again, he’s still._ It became just too much, he filled her so completely and utterly, a feeling she’d never felt with such intensity that she couldn’t stop herself and she arched and squeezed tightly and climaxed right there in his arms, gasping in short breaths loudly and pulling at his back and behind.

He nearly went over with her, instead holding on to her tightly as she arched up into him, watching her in a state of open-mouthed wonder. He pushed himself further in to touch her deepest parts during her orgasm, sensing through their connection exactly what she needed. He held on to her tightly as she came down slowly, gasping for breaths. Everywhere she touched him, and particularly from her deepest intimate parts, she’d sent her whole being, her love into him.

Medicine for a Doctor. It was exactly what this Time Lord needed. He never wanted this to end.

 _So. Not boring. Not boring at all. The opposite of boring. Unboring. Who ever thought this could possibly be boring?_ His brain never really did shut up completely.

He watched her face as she slowly opened her eyes.

She said nothing. She was still squeezing him from deep inside in spasms. Aftershocks from the experience. He pushed in a little further, feeling quite accomplished and powerful having made River orgasm like that. He smiled, “Good?” he asked.

River’s breathing was finally slowing down a bit, she’d lost all control, and talking was still anathema. She replied breathlessly.

“Better than good… so much better… But don’t you dare let that go to your head.” She hugged him and squeezed him again, urging him to continue. He began very gently moving into her, wanting to savor every moment of the sensations he had denied himself for so very long. She met his pace, pulled him down into a passionate kiss.

In his mind, he said thickly, _I never want this to end, River._

_Everything ends, Doctor. You said so yourself._

_Then let’s make these moments stand still. I love you, River Song._

A tear escaped from the outer corner of her left eye.

_I believe you._

She put her hands on his bum and encouraged him to increase his speed. He did, but only slightly. Now that he was here, he wanted to stay here for a while.

She was slowly building up again, as he paced himself, when suddenly he stopped and lifted himself above her. “Wait a minute, River.” His face was drawn into a serious expression, but she caught the sparkle in his eye.

Between breaths, she uttered, “what?!” She stopped moving and looked up into his eyes, “and we’re talking now?”

“Yes, we’re talking, why wouldn’t we be talking? I mean talking is good, too, isn’t it?”

She was grinning now, knowing he was feigning his aggravation, and that he being deep inside of her made him anything but aggravated.

So she raised her eyebrows in a query, all business, suddenly, “yes, Doctor?”

“Just exactly how many times have you stolen my TARDIS?!”

River snorted loudly and burst out laughing. “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know!”

The Doctor considered for a brief moment and then, “well, yes, I rather would like to know.”

River squeezed him tightly inside her, and he groaned. “Shut up,” she answered, pulling him back down and taking his earlobe into her teeth just tightly enough to make him suck in a breath quickly.

“You know, I will find out… eventually.”

“Mmmm, eventually. Stop thinking. It’s too loud, Doctor. The only loud I want to hear right now is you screaming for more.”

 

[To be continued]


	5. Throes of Entanglement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're still entangled, but Time Lord lovemaking is complex, and turns out to be a great deal more challenging than either of them anticipated. It's never simple with the Doctor, is it? No matter what "it" is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I didn't get an extra chance to proof, so I hope it's all in English you can actually understand.

River’s words did shut him up, even his mind went quiet for a few moments, as he lost himself in the sensations he’d not experienced in far too long. Would he allow himself the extremes of pleasure Time Lords could feel with the right partner? Pacing himself, he wanted to stretch it out as long as possible, not think about the inevitable conclusion. How many times she’d stolen his TARDIS suddenly mattered very little. Control, as in self control, became primary. Because it was quickly disappearing as the inevitable conclusion came closer, and this made the Doctor more uncomfortable than he’d ever anticipated.

Yes yes, he knew all about what sex was supposed to be. But he had forgotten a just a wee bit about what the release would be like. He had forgotten that unless he was very carefully in control of his energy, he could flood his lover, harmfully so. She was not a full Time Lady, despite her enhancements. This had been the unconscious reason he held back with any but a very few companions, particularly taking care with the more fragile species. Although admitting that he would lose control to himself was a lot harder than just saying that he was an alien, and things were different for him. And he didn’t do 'that.'

River surrounded him, in every conceivable way. He was within her physically, but as well, her energy danced around their forms and sent sparks into the doctor’s skin. All his senses were turned up to high. Her warmth surrounding him, enveloping him, inviting him deep inside of her in all ways. When he focused on the physical feeling of being within her, the sensations were overwhelming and raw, she spoke to him, sang to him, from inside. She was a song. A beautiful melody. She sang the language of love, of rage, of passion, and if he just let himself immerse into her entirety, he could let go.

He not merely had the emotional welling going on unwelcomed and unexpectedly, he was also feeling both an energetic and telepathic welling, each of which put him into a more vulnerable place than he knew what to do with. Each threatening to undo him beyond his capacity to manage. It was as if being inside of River had opened a hole in his chest, and all of who he was, was pouring out of it. He was terrified of pouring it all into her. It even overwhelmed him. An enormous pressure valve suddenly lifted.

Would she be hurt? This was the nature of the Time Lords. Making love is so much more complicated, much more deeply complex and intertwined. Every time he began to allow himself to climb upwards towards a release, his concern for River’s well-being, all the voices in his head, pulled him back, and in doing so, increased the strength and magnitude of his eventual release. It was becoming downright frightening.

He held his energy carefully back, allowing only small waves to pulse through his mate. It was hardly an unknown fact that a Time Lord who truly lost control could be dangerous. This was always the dilemma. And he couldn’t stop his brain from calculating risks, even in the midst of lovemaking.

But River was exactly suited to him; she could feel his struggle, sense him holding back. She could also tell that what happening to him was getting serious enough to interfere with a bond that should be impermeable. And she was having none of that.

Rolling them over suddenly so she was on top straddling him, she looked down at him carefully. Her breath came in heavy pants, and there was a thin sheen of sweat all over her golden skin. The Doctor looked surprised... and in pain. He could clearly see her golden energy in flashes around her, as though she were sitting inside a ghostly fire of her own making; her perfect curls, the flame tips. All of it was devastatingly beautiful to him and he gasped for breath, hanging on by a thin thread as she moved above him.

She took in his face swollen from lovemaking, listened to the cater and heaviness of his breath coming hard and fast. She placed her hands over his hearts and felt his lifeblood pumping through him at breakneck speed. He was so vulnerable. Within his eyes, she could see every other Doctor he’d ever been right there with her. She had all of them at once. She slowed gently as she noticed his face trembling.

“Hey, they there, you… Tell me what’s going on?”

It took her a moment to realize she'd spoken the words rather than thought them to him.

She leaned over him and took his face in her hands, her voice quiet and breathy, her eyes wandering up and down his features. Without the telepathy, each could be unreadable to the other. He was upset, nearly crying, she knew that. Why?

“Doctor, why are you holding back? Where are _you_? Tell me. Please.”

He’d have preferred almost anything to trying to answer her query; and he pulled her down on top of him so her head was on his left shoulder before he spoke. Monsters weren't nearly so scary.

“I’m… River, I’m just taking care of you.” Then between heavy breaths of air, and in a tiny voice, "maybe we should stop now."

She pulled upwards again to look him straight in the eyes, ‘Oh, no, Doctor, no running now. We take care of each other. No one-sidedness. Too late for that.” She squeezed him again tightly inside, and he practically sobbed in response. She started to move again very slowly, keeping the fire lit. She whispered, “Why aren’t we thinking this to each other?”

The Doctor, unwittingly, had shut her out in an attempt to create a safety barrier, but at great expense. It is primarily though a partner’s arousal, the depth of the connection, the telepathic bond, and the co-mingling of energies that Time Lords are able to bring themselves to a healthy and satisfying release. Being alone trapped them within the walls of their own memories and pain, yet being with another was quite literally laying everything before another living being, risking it all in the ensuing explosion.

Couldn’t go forward, couldn’t go back. He was well and truly stuck.

Despite his walling her away, she could sense his vast struggle easily, audibly. They were married and there was an indelible psychic bond between them. As much as he didn’t want her to see his most private inner emotional self, she was going to, especially now. And she was going to make sure he knew it. Anybody who knew River, knew there was no getting around her. She was full on.

She closed her eyes and pushed herself forcefully into his mind, caught him unready, and his first wall of defense tumbled down, a mere bunch of empty crates at her feet. Behind the wall she found him standing naked, staring at her, puffy-faced, his eyes red and swollen. Quickly, from behind her came a voice, “I’m afraid.” It was a child’s, the voice of a boy. She turned around quickly within his mind-scape, but no one was there, and when she turned back, he’d rebuilt the first wall once again, flimsy as it was. Now that she was inside his mind, she could easily think to him again. 

_No wonder you keep people out, you don't build very strong walls, Sweetie._

_No, River, please don't. Please. Please please don't. I can't..._

She lifted a hand and pushed the wall over again using only two fingers and then walked right to him him, her hands reaching out to hold him. She was naked as well. Both were exposed and vulnerable, both risking great pain in order to be together. She stopped before him.

_Doctor, stop it. I know. You can’t hide from me, not everything._ She paused and then _Not this._

Within his mind-scape, he reached for her hand, all at once the ancient Time Lord and the little boy wrapped up together. He genuinely did not know what else to do, there were no other choices, even running was no longer a possibility. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into her chest. He fell to his knees, his arms wrapped tightly around her middle, and his face against the soft warm flesh of her belly. Tears now, deep inside, with no sound, a release of its own kind.

In their minds, River held him. Outside their bodies were locked together, their eyes were closed, living both inside and out at the same time. Within and without. 

Within, River held him until she felt his outer barriers begin to collapse. It was enough. His energy flowed out again in a heavy stream, and River gasped and opened her eyes to look at him.

He opened his eyes as well. His face held too many emotions for her to read them all. His eyes were pleading. She had so quickly come to love this face, it’s sharpness belying both incredible strength and fragility just beneath a thorny surface. It was him after all. The same him. Just more of him, old and new. And then his eyes were closed, his face drawn into the sweet agony that continued to torment him.

_Let go of it, Doctor, please._

He only whimpered in response. Determined to help him find release, without, she sped up her movements, excitement easily rising from the renewed telepathic bond. The feel of her husband inside her would be hard to articulate, but it was deeper than deep, like nothing else. As if they’d been lovers for a thousand years, the familiarity of his being felt just exactly right. It was certainly more than mere physical sharing; the intimacy of these moments made all her past experiences fade. This was her real husband. The only _real_ one.

Inside their now shared mind, he'd stood up to face her, everything in his face. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her more and more tightly, his fingers digging into her back.

_River, it’s too much, this first time, it’s going to be too much._

His inner voice sounded weepy. Barely in control

Outside, their physical bodies were completely entangled, moving to the rhythm of their inner dance. She had lain down on top of him and was moving more quickly, seeking that release for them both, pressing her breasts into his chest, pulling his lips between her teeth. She would bring them both there.

But within, the Doctor held on for dear life, terrified of what was to come. Any moment now.

River felt herself climb to heights she might have felt were frightening with someone else. But this was her Doctor, even as she felt the blinding white heat just begin to pour from his chest into hers. He might have been right, this was powerfully overwhelming, and she found herself gasping for breath, clawing through his burning heat toward her climax, so she could follow him.

The Doctor knew she was reaching climax again and he knew he’d fall over with her this time. Control had long since gone, but fear had not. It was too late to stop now.

Just as River topped the crest and he felt himself give way, he pushed them over so he was on top again. Then, he pulled himself out of her, and rolled away from her, his back facing her and curling up in a ball as he climaxed into the sheets next to her, but without touching her. His body lit up with hot energy, a glow stick under the sheet, signalling the enormous release he was experiencing. His energy actually heated the sheets to form his body print and the heat spread out from there in every direction. In the end, the pressure was built up so high, he felt certain he couldn’t risk her. He had been right. This time.

But the agony of pulling away at the last moment, the pain of not being able to share in that wordlessly deep moment of bonding ecstasy, was substantial. Having broken the physical telepathy, he was alone, or worse yet, dreadfully lonely. The energy poured into the pain of his regrets and losses because he wouldn't let River catch him when he fell. The Doctor never liked to be alone, everyone knew that. Especially in his most difficult moments. This had been a huge sacrifice, as was so often his wont.

River looked over at him as she fell over the edge herself, her face drawn into sadness. He was alone. Again. How did he manage to melt her heart so thoroughly?

The Doctor still lay away from River, his back to her, panting, covered in his own mess. Disconnected and alone, his default position, was the choice he felt he must make. For her safety. Or was it for his safety?

He really wasn’t at all sure any more, and while he didn’t sob, hot tears seared down his cheeks as he tried and failed to catch his breath.

River, after the most magnificent beginning of her climax, had lost everything she’d had only seconds before. The physical, telepathic and energetic bond they'd just shared was suddenly ripped from her. He didn’t have to explain it to her, she could sense it the entire way along. But it still hurt. That disconnection. Oh, the climax was good – wonderful, amazing – but she wanted, even needed to share it with the Doctor.

She felt the heat from him moving along the sheets toward her and instead of retreating from the burn, she allowed it to move through her. Once the energy he feared so much had gone, she moved in against his back and wrapped her arms around his middle.

She was so sad, mostly for him. This had been a much bigger struggle for him than he’d let on earlier in the evening. He'd seemed so suave and invulnerable at dinner just a few hours ago.

 _Perhaps you're not all grown up after all._ He didn't answer her, he was still trying to catch his breath and just couldn't. She held him tightly as he continued to struggle, and he shoved his tears down down down deep inside him, far away from showing. As always he lied to himself, because he liked it. This had only been to protect her. He was still the Doctor. He was still in control of his faculties. He was protecting her. He was. He really was.

He reached down for River’s hand and pulled it up to his lips and kissed it. Gently, he let himself back into her mind.

_I’m sorry, River. I just couldn’t._

And still the struggle with his breath, he was becoming impatient with himself.

_I know. And it’s okay, Doctor. It really is okay, darling. I'm right here now._

_It's just the first time thing, River.  Next time will be better.  I promise._

"Shhh... I know" she whispered and soothed, pressing against him.

Finally, he turned to face her, still vulnerable and exposed; and she embraced him tightly without a second’s hesitation.

Words were no longer necessary, not even telepathic words. She got it. She understood. Even his need to lie to himself about it, she got it all. She was River Song. Of course she would.

 

[To be continued.]


	6. That Morning Glow at Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the complexities of Time Lord love: energy, telepathy, and body. Can be a bit like tuning a complex instrument. It takes time and practice... and trust. And a leap of faith. Good fun smut, with the angst and fluff built in.

On what could be called “the next morning” except that it was still sunset outside, River lay sleeping peacefully, her body against the Doctor’s side. He was sitting up in bed, the covers up to his waist, awake, running the usual million and one ideas through his busy brain. He wished he could make it a million and one other ideas than what his brain insisted on thinking about over and over again. Last night still stuck in his craw. Although he’d past the embarrassment, he found himself unable to quiet the fears, isolation and loneliness that resulted because of what happened. Her abilities were an unknown quantity and therefore an unknown risk.

Either way, he would make it up to her. And to himself. He closed his eyes against the onslaught of his own thoughts, then looked down at the golden woman who lay curled around him. His mind quieted as he watched her. There was solace and comfort in that.

She hadn’t minded what happened. She’d held him through it. She’d been strong enough to push into his mind and knock over his first wall, and contrary to what River had observed, it was a decent enough wall. More or less. River was just a great deal more telepathically powerful than she knew. She’d broken into his mind, picked the lock just as she’d picked a hundred locks before. _River, the indomitable._ The corners of his lips rose, and he stretched his limbs slightly.

His body wanted to be lazy, slide down and cuddle up with his partner, but his brain continued chattering away, to which he raised his eyebrows and sighed. Still, a great deal of pressure had been released last night and he felt certain, all calculations aside, that the next time, he could better control his output with River. Of course calculations couldn't hurt, could they? And on and on his brain went.

His inner babbling was endless. It was inevitable with twelve different regenerations all gabbing at him at the same time… or was it thirteen? Good grief, even he’d lost count. He lifted a hand and rubbed his face; when there wasn't a huge and dangerous puzzle to solve, he easily felt as though he were a hamster on a wheel. He’d need to do something soon, even if it was just getting up to run around the TARDIS naked.

But when he looked down River, her slow even breathing, the sweet smell of her closeness, her peaceful and relaxed features, the complete and utter vulnerability she gave off while asleep, it stilled the cacophony of voices. He felt her intertwined deeply into both his hearts, settling him, diminishing the urge to run. Oh, River covered her fragility up all very well, and exuded confidence and experience, bluster and courage, but in truth for all her airs and put-ons, she was the same vulnerable child inside that he was. A child trying to be a grown up in a grown up body. Trying to be seen, trying to be heard. Wanting to be admired. Trying to be loved. And to love.

He smiled at her in spite of himself. He couldn't help it. _Just when you need it the most... there is a Song_. When he admitted it to himself, he needed her probably a great deal more than she needed him. He had never wanted to need anybody, it was so much easier that way, but that’s not how any of it ever worked. Right now, after all he’d been through, he needed her; more than a companion, he needed his wife, his lover, he needed intimacy.  And he certainly was feeling the long years of running, sitting still had been anathema until now; he desperately needed these twenty-four years, and any extra time he could squeeze out of it.

He was deep in the torrent of thoughts and feelings that had taken up residence in his mind. Sometimes being inside his head was a living nightmare.  He hoped River would wake up soon.  He no longer wanted to be alone with his own mind.  Knowing full well it was selfish for him to wake her, he moved a little anyway, nudged her very gently and at last, she began to stir.  She took in a deep morning lung full of air, and her eyes blinked slowly open, squinting at the brilliant sunset light that still filtered in.

The first thing in her vision was her Doctor. He was watching her.  She could still feel the lovemaking they’d done just hours before. It wasn't a dream, it had happened. Better yet, he was still here, he could easily have been gone, but he had stayed next to her instead.  She awoke and was immediately consumed with how much she wanted that physical, telepathic, energetic intimacy with him again. And again and again and again. She couldn't imagine anybody ever growing tired of it. She smiled up at him. They weren’t done with first times, not in her book. There was so much more to explore.

“Hello Sweetie…” she said sleepily.

“Hello,” he replied, reaching an arm around her to stroke her arm with his fingers. She wondered if he’d slept at all. His eyebrows were drawn together tensely and her first urge was to help them — and everything else — relax.

She stretched reaching her arms above her head and stretching her legs out all the way down to her toes. The covers slipped off her chest and slid down to her waist as she stretched. The Doctor's eyes moved down to admire at her rounded breasts and the lovely belly button that revealed itself to him. His mind was no longer chattering, well, at least not very much. She had that effect.  And he appreciated it.

She enjoyed having his eyes on her and snuggled closer to him, placing a leg over his legs and pressing herself all along the side of his body. She lifted up and kissed him, gently at first and then with more intensity. She let her left hand run down his chest and settle in the soft curls below his belly, which she stroked very lightly. He laughed and pulled away a bit, “that tickles!”

She laughed back at him, and moved her hand down just a bit to where it wasn’t tickling anymore. "And this?" He inhaled sharply when she touched him, but she wasn’t dissuaded. She leaned her breasts into his arm and brought her lips to his ear, a low whisper coming from her lips.

“Show me your Time Lord energy. What can it do, Doctor? I want to know…”

Her fingers were working amazing feelings into him, and he hummed for a moment in response.  Then, “You’re certain…?”

She blew gently into his ear, making bumps rise against the warm wetness.“…yesss, absolutely certain.”

He gently turned his body to face her and kissed her tenderly on the lips.  She could feel the peppering of his energy on her face, like feathered kisses.  She smiled at him and whispered onto his lips, “Show me more.”

His body heated up slightly, along with a delicate tingling sensation that grew more deeply from his skin into hers and spread out to her extremities. Her breath came in quiet and luscious gulps deep from her chest. It felt as if she were lying naked on a soft sandy beach with gentle warm waves lapping over her. Her hand forgot its task, but the Doctor didn't mind.  Watching her pleasure was exactly what he needed.  And she slipped into his mind effortlessly, floating into his inner arms which closed in an embrace around her.

He spoke now through thoughts. _You told me that hands are sexy._

She smiled outwardly. _I did say that, didn’t I?_

_Mmmhmmm… You did.  Time Lord hands are even better.  
_

_I can't wait to see how.  
_

Nestled in his arms within their minds she surrendered willingly to what was about to come.

Outside, he was looking down at her with a hint of a smile and deeply hooded eyes. He lifted his right hand up and elegantly moved his long fingers into a fan pattern and then into a soft fist. From inside, she could just see the golden glowing of what looked like regeneration energy. When he opened his fist, his hand was lined with golden energy, as though it were a glove. She watched in fascination as he brought his hand up to her lips and brushed against them with his glowing fingers. She gasped and balled her hands up into fists, preparing for even more intensity.

It was the perfect amount of heat, like that same warm beach and the waves, but drenched with sensuality, the kind of raw heat that makes you itch deep inside. She gasped sharply at the sensation of the energy flowing into her through her sensitive lips and then spreading outward.  Her whole body shuttered.

This was also lovemaking. It was a different piece of him, but still moving inside her. Again, she had no words. Her breath became heavier as he pulled his golden hand back to show it to her again, rippling his fingers so that the light shimmered and reflected back to him in her pupils. And then he placed his hand under hear ear, tenderly smoothing his fingers down her neck, and then her chest, moving slowly from side to side. Even more slowly over each breast, cupping them and rubbing each nipple, allowing his energy to dance under her skin.

Her eyes were closed now, she was impossibly wet, her body the instrument on which he so expertly played. He moved his hand down her abdomen and belly, spreading the energy everywhere he touched. She felt each part of her melt into magic, held suspended in ecstasy, his energy cradling her and lifting her ever higher, never letting her drop. Inside, she was coiling up impossibly tight. She arched into his hand as he moved it down her body towards his goal.

He carefully watched her face, his mouth open, taming his own hunger in order to give River a ride she’d not soon forget. When his fingers touched her nerve bundle, he allowed his energy to move more insistently inside her skin, flowing out in every direction, into the sensitive hidden nerves surrounding her core. Feeling the intense need to scratch the itch deep inside her, he pushed two fingers inside of her, pooling his energy deep within her body, while his thumb continued to work outside. Inside of her he bent his fingers and pushed energy into her G spot, to which she moaned, pushing back powerfully into his hand.

Now perched above the highest high, her drop would come hard. It took all of 10 seconds for her to reach the very pinnacle, no ground anywhere in sight, so she'd fly. Her body stiffened and tightened, her toes curled, and she jerked into the Doctor’s magical fingers again and again. It came so fast and so hard and lasted so long that River was gasping to pull air inside her lungs, and crying out loud wordlessly. The Doctor held her through it and continued his touch, intensifying and lengthening the experience to the most extreme level he felt River could manage.  It was the longest orgasm River had ever had.

At some point during it, she could hear the Doctor's voice encouraging her.  She couldn't make out words, only that they made her fly even faster.

She couldn’t catch her breath, couldn't pull enough air into her lungs, her cries raking over her opened drying throat. She shook so intensely, the Doctor felt a moment of worry, but he was sure she could do this.  She could take it.  It was his River and she deserved this ecstasy, a thousand times over, even several thousand, as the case might be.

It had been good what he'd done, he could feel that.  In her mind, there weren’t words, just an unanticipated expanse of emotion and sensation. She clung to the Doctor as she rode out the waves, feeling as though he was the only thing keeping her from flying completely away into space.  Her whole body was humming in energy.

She hadn't been remotely prepared for the intensity of this pure form of sexual energy; not necessarily a bad thing.  She continued gasping for breath, her body quivering, a taught string that had come perilously close to snapping. Her internal muscles had pulled so tightly that her thighs were visibly trembling.

And he could feel it all within her. He could feel it with her and it gave him immeasurable pleasure. That odd and yet appealing deep satisfaction returned watching her endure the variety and magnitude of pleasures he could give to her.

This woman who’d saved his life more times than he could count, she was saving him now. He would save her back. He held her tightly as she struggled to regain control over her breath.  She could not for the emotional avalanche that she’d released in her climax.  Utterly unstoppable, it came roaring down behind her, overwhelming every part of her.  Her gasps grew into deep-chested sobs, and she curled herself up around the Doctor, pushed her face into his chest, and hung on as it all came crashing down over her.

He put both his arms around her and held her tight and steady, sending love into her body, helping her find her way down, shoring her up to withstand the onslaught.  He didn't need to be inside her head to feel what she was feeling.  Now he could hold her.  Now he could really hold her.

Her mind filled with everything: a profound sadness of so many past traumas, lost loves, lost people, friendships that vanished, and all variety terrible things she’d stuffed deep down inside herself in order to survive.  Being within her mind overwhelmed even the Doctor. “River… you didn’t tell me… why didn't you tell me?” He was looking now for the right words. She was embarrassed of all the details of past weakness and failures, the deaths she'd felt guilty for, her mistakes, her fallibility and her weakness. This was a feeling the Doctor knew well.  He would witness for her without telepathy or energy the coming avalanche of emotions. Out of respect, he pulled himself from her mind while so many private moments poured out of her from way down deep. He leaned his lips against the top of her head and whispered to her.

“The sharing of energy is extremely intense. Even for Time Lords. The… intimacy of sharing energy into release deepens the connection between partners, but it also pulls out old things, things that need to still heal.” He sounded almost apologetic. “It’s supposed to let you get to a deeper and more meaningful and intense experience.”

She didn’t answer, but nodded against his chest, her face still hidden. His voice was reassuring.

“River…” he knew, words were useless here.  They'd only lessen the experience, or diminish her need to feel it.  She just needed to feel, to feel all of it.

He kissed her head, “You just cry as long as you need to. I’m staying right here.” His words made her weep even more deeply.  She found herself connecting with places in her heart she had long since thought dead and buried; places that moved her so much they hurt.  She held on tightly to him, as her body rocked with tears.

During those precious moments of pure ecstasy, River had laid herself out again for him. He loved her all the more for it. The more she opened herself up, the more he loved her.

The Doctor turned and curled his body around hers and pulled her partly on top of his chest, to try to help her steady herself. He held her until her breath finally settled down. She still shook, she couldn’t stop it. She continued to bury her face into his chest, embarrassed by the intensity of her reaction. It was, of course, in equal measure wonderful and terrifying, and far more powerful than she’d thought it would be. He was the Doctor. Always expect the unexpected.

“I’m sorry, I—” her breath caught in her throat as she tried to get the words out.

“Shhh shhhhh, don’t you dare.”

He pushed his lips into her soft curls and kissed her head. “This will pass,” he breathed on her scalp. Very quietly he added, “It appears we’ll both be digging a bit.”

River sniffed loudly in return and let out something between a laugh and a cry. He smiled into her hair, inhaling her smell. “Besides which… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more amazing than when you are completely and utterly undone.”

She did manage a sort of laugh at that. And then her face dropped again and she was silent for a while. It was calming to hear the Doctor’s hearts beating under her head, their loud double rhythmic thromping sound providing her with a sense of ground. Finally she stirred.

“So you do notice when I look amazing.  Doctor that felt amazing.” The Doctor tightened his arms around her in response. "It was... a lot."  Her voice still skidded on the edge of breakdown.

He nodded, "It was."

After another silence, she asked, “And what about you?” her cheek flush against his skin, still sticky from crying.

“Don’t worry about me.”

“But I do worry about you.”

“Please don’t.”

“Don’t ‘don’t’ me anymore,” she finally propped herself up and looked into his face. “You’ve stopped running around saving the universe so we could…" she made a gesture at the two of them lying together and nodded, "...just... live, and now you’re going all mysterious Doctor-I-can’t-do-this-I’m-above-it-all again.”

The Doctor let out a short laugh at her description of him.

“Maybe I am above some of it, maybe not all of it,” he said a little indignantly, half teasing.

She sat up fully to face him, her face still tear streaked but her expression hardly one of sorrow any longer, “Oh, right on that, Doctor. Absolutely. Erm... Last night?” She looked at him, her head tilted, one eyebrow raised.

“River, it wasn’t last night… technically, it’s still last night right now.  It was last night last night and it's still last night now, and it will be last night tonight, too.”

She growled, “Don’t change the subject. You know exactly what I mean.”

As the Doctor searched for a clever response, she got up on her knees.

Then, quick as she could, she ripped the covers off of the Doctor entirely. _Well, she's obviously regained her footing._

“River! What are doing?!”

“I’m looking at you.”

“Yes, I can see that, give me the covers back.”

She pulled them farther away from him and grinned wickedly.

"No."

"I'm cold!"

"You're never cold, not even on Ood Sphere...." She rose her eyebrows flirtatiously, "....liar."

"Well, fine, I'll get dressed then." He leaned upwards as if to get up.

"No, you won't do that either," she responded by blocking his path to his clothing.

"Do you want me to walk around the TARDIS naked?!"

Another wide grin from River, "Hmm, I hadn't considered that before, but now that you mention it..."

"River!"  He tried to get the covers from her balled fists, but she was quite strong, and she was laughing at him tussling with her.  Come to think of it, he was laughing too.

"River, this isn't funny," he said in spite of his laughter.

A gleeful giggle erupted from River's chest, "It's hysterical!"  She pulled the blankets down off the bed, wrapping them up in a wad in her arms and displaying a very wide toothy grin. As soon as he moved toward her, she was backing up onto the floor. There she also grabbed the Doctor's clothing and wadded it up into her ball of blankets and sheets.  Then she kicked his shoes under the bed, and looked up at him quite pleased with herself, her eyebrows raised in challenge.

As she'd expected he pursued her as she backed further into the nearest corner of the room, dodging behind an overstuffed chair to escape out the other side.  The Doctor managed to grab a handful of the covers, but lost a-hold of them as she shrieked and ran to the opposite side of the room near the bathroom door.

"River, I want my clothes, that's my new suit. Give it here!"

"Come and get it, Doctor."  She stood, grinning and waiting for him to approach her. He moved toward her again, half expecting her to take off again, but she stayed put. Her eyes were twinkling at him, and he struggled to keep a straight face.  He tried to waggle his eyebrows fiercely at her, but it just invoked more laughter.  Now, close enough, he tugged at the wad that was his suit, but she held fast.

He let out a completely faked sigh of exasperation, and moved in a little closer and stared at her.

Ever the proverbial cat that ate the canary, leaning towards his face, she offered, "You can have everything back on one condition."

His chin dropped to his chest in expectation of the worst, eyes fixated on her "And that would be?"

“You are going to take a shower with me," she said, dropping the pile on the floor behind her in the corner and reaching for his hands.

“What? Wait. Why? I can just use my sonic.”

“Uh uh.”

“Why not?” He was being pulled into the bathroom.

“Sonic, boring.  Not nearly as much fun as my idea.”

He didn't dare allow River to see his delight at how much more at ease their intimacy had made her.  It was having the same effect on him, and he was quite enjoying it. Things might be a little easier from here on.

She turned to him once inside the bathroom, his hands still in hers.

“Dig deep,” she said quietly, a subtle warning in her eyes.  She leaned up to his ear and whispered, "It's your turn to dig."

Her words sent a chill down the Doctor's spine and made his hearts beat double speed.  As much in terror as in anticipation. His body began to respond to her whisper.  He could feel warmth spreading upward from his legs and downward from his chest.

Thanks to the TARDIS, the bathroom was beautiful.  High beamed ceilings and an enormous shimmering mother-of-pearl shell hot tub were the most prominent features.  Aphrodite herself would have enjoyed this bathroom.  Perhaps she did, one never knows. There was a roomy separate couple's shower, which turned itself on to high immediately as River walked nearer.

There was another skylight above, and the floor was warm and giving on their feet.  River pulled her favorite soap off the shelf, opened the door and pulled him into the shower with her.

The material on the floor looked like beautifully stained cement, but it was unexpectedly soft and giving. The shower walls were made of the same material. The water flowed down two beautifully intersecting cascades from opposite walls. It was warm and soothing. River pulled them into the warm water and closed her eyes under one of the falling cascades.  The water poured down her hair, making her normally golden mane stick tightly to her head and back. There were times he wanted to worship her, she was so beautiful. He looked down at the droplets rolling down the curves and lines of her body, an intricate dance in the soft maze of her skin. Water had such a double meaning for River and the Doctor, good and bad, nightmare and dream. But this water felt like a balm to them both. Without taking his eyes off of her, the Doctor moved fully under the other cascade.

It felt good to him, as well.  When his eyes closed under the rush of water, he turned to the wall to face the oncoming stream, let it pour over his face and down his body.

River opened her eyes and saw him back turned, just inches from her. She pulled the soap off its platter, and moved to the Doctor’s back. Reaching out with one hand, she smoothed it over the Doctor's back from top to bottom and then back up again.  He almost started, but didn’t. She lifted the soap to his back and began drawing it in slow lazy circles across his skin.

The water was hypnotizing and River’s hands were amazing. She worked on his back, over his bum and down his legs. He let her. It felt good. He began making little sounds in response, and she could feel the warmth of his arousal flowing inwards through the pores of her skin. This was such a turn-on for her.  She hoped he would be able to finally enjoy it as well. River's hands and the warm beating of water relaxed his tension and calmed his chattering mind.

Once River had finished the backs of his legs, she smiled to herself as she thought of her next step.  Instead of turning him around, she pushed her body flush into his back and reached around him to start on his chest. It was rather wonderful and slippery between them; she was pressing against his soapy back, and the sensation of slick skin against skin raised the temperature even more.  With a deliberate slowness, she did his chest and abdomen. Purposefully skipping his mid-section, she dropped to do the front of his legs.

 _Saving the best for last._ She hoped he hadn't heard that. _  
_

Either way, he didn't answer except in a soft gasp of disappointment as she passed over his most sensitive bits.

Finally, after what seemed to the Doctor like an unbearably long time, she moved up and began to soap him down more intimately. He was already full on and ready, and she used the soap to her advantage, listening to the whimpers and sighs he offered in response to what she did to him. His telltale heavy breaths of arousal spurred her onward. She was working him over in great detail, every millimeter explored with her hands, every previously untouched place now caressed by the sweet softness of her fingers. She seemed to be memorizing how he felt when she touched him, in fine detail.

Sensing him begin to coil tightly deep inside, she danced her fingers on him lightly as he leaned backwards into her. She still had both her arms around him, when he pulled her hands away from him and turned around to face her.

She smiled at him, but once she saw his face, the smile slowly vanished. His pupils were enormous. Before she could take a breath his lips were on hers, his body pushing her to the wall behind and crushing her against it. _Padded shower, well done_. There'd be no bruise later, it gave just enough for that, but still provided plenty of counter balance.

He was feeling insistent now, hungry, seeking.  Words were gone, and thought fell away from him too.  This time he'd do it, he could feel it, his certitude and conviction, the wild way his hearts galloped in his chest.  So could she.  Just the feelings he shared sent her flying higher and higher again.

With urgency, he reached down to feel her wetness, and panted into her ear, "ready?"

Her answer came through her body, her arms clinging around him and pulling him tighter against her body, and she kissed him over and over again. He lifted one of her legs over his arm so it rested it in the crook of his elbow, and he sank himself deep inside her and held himself there. The act of physically joining again made them both moan against each other's lips. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled and he lifted her just slightly to gain a better purchase so he could move.

TARDIS knew everything. Underneath River’s behind, a ledge grew gently – organically - out of the wall supporting her at just the right height. The doctor held on to her hips and began to drive into her. Telepathy was wordless this time, only feeling. The Doctor’s mind had finally shut up. River reveled in his lack of words, in his passion and long unanswered need. As he pushed into her again and again, the friction and heat lifted her higher and higher. She felt him with her, his energy aligned completely with hers, buzzing and dancing in and out of her. And their bodies, again intertwined in a dance.

Then he was kissing her deeply again, his thrusts touching her more deeply than anyone else ever had.

Another thrust and she climaxed again, holding on to the Doctor, as he frantically pounded into her feeling all of her ecstasy mix in with his... and — there it was — his release. Big and scary and vulnerable, there it was, laying him out in front of her, pouring all of himself into her, all his emotions, his fears, his loves. This time, he didn't have to control the floodgates.  He let go.  She had felt him release just as she did; his hot seed shooting into her, the spasms inside of her from them both, the crying out, and then the holding on. The energy was extremely hot, but not burning.  The clear side of the shower walls were covered in steam. He pressed his head into hers as they both struggled to regain their faculties, arms wrapped around the other, holding on tight.

He was still inside of her. Neither wanted to move. The slow floating down included deep spasmodic pulling from River’s core and when she spasmed, so did he, aftershocks. Eventually, she took his head in her hands, pushed him far enough away to look closely at him.  She examined his face.  He looked like a man who'd just made wild and passionate love.  His eyes were free of barriers, distractions, and only bliss filled them for the moment.

“I'm okay, Doctor” she said quietly, “and so are you.”

Swallowing heavily, he nodded. He appreciated immediately that River had given him privacy in his own mind after his climax, just as he had done for her. She was so very good, his River Song.

She pulled him in and kissed him, a tender and passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he lifted her up off the seat and held her for a moment. Finally — and with groans of regret — he pulled himself out of her and set her down, her toes reaching and finding purchase on the wet floor.

In silence, they washed each other again, and then shut off the shower. River reached out and grabbed them each an enormous towel.  They stood inside the shower, drying off, inches apart from one another, so much like a familiar married couple very much in love.  River became curious about what the Doctor was thinking and feeling.

“You’re awfully quiet, Doctor.”

He looked down, and then off to the side. Now she could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes, although he seemed determined not to let them actually find their way out to fall.

She reached up to touch his still-wet hair, and he pulled her into a tight embrace. Her turn to hold him. She held on tight and steady, just as he had earlier. But he didn’t let himself cry.

“Doctor…?” She finally asked.

“I’m okay,” he said in a raspy thick voice, “I’m always okay.”

“No you’re not, not really.”

“River…”

“It’s all right Doctor. Like you said.”

He sniffed back tears and broke the hug. “Yes, and anyway, I’m very very hungry.”

She laughed. "So am I, starving! I was going to mention that earlier, but, well… distracted.” He smiled and then spotted the new addition on the counter top.

The TARDIS had lain out clean clothing for them both and they dressed near one another in the bathroom, not quite touching still, but almost. It hadn't taken very long to form a bonding much deeper than they'd had before. River wondered silently how deep it would go? _How deep is deep?_

The Doctor was in close enough proximity that he heard her musings.

“Deeper than that,” he answered quietly, watching her, "as deep as deep can go." She looked up at him, a shadow of fear crossing her features for a second, then relinquishing itself to her easy smile again.

She used the sonic to dry her hair once she'd finished dressing, and sprayed on a fresh layering of makeup and lipstick.  The Doctor watched her.  If one looked closely enough, one might barely detect the wide smile of happiness that hid just below the gruff chiseled face.  It was practically bursting out of him.  She knew though, she knew so much more now.

Hearing for the first time the rumblings her belly was making, she turned away from the mirror to the Doctor and stated simply, “food. Now.”

“Right, should we have breakfast in the evening?”

“I’m up for that.  What do they eat for breakfast on this planet?”

"Oh, we're going outside the TARDIS then?"

"Yes."  She smiled up at him.  "Let's go into town and find a little place to have breakfast." She started moving towards the door. "Then we can shop for toys."

"Toys?  What do you mean, shop for toys?  I think this body hates shopping." He followed her.

"You'll like this shopping."

"I doubt that very much, what is there to like about shopping?"

She turned to him as they reached the control room and pressed into his body, smiling up at him, "Trust me," she whispered, "spoilers."

 

[To be continued]


End file.
